I did not just wake up one morning and decide to release all of my pain and begin a blank slate. No, I had been dreaming of a life that was meaningful and connected. I had been anticipating the choice to heal and renew myself. For so long, I had been drowning and was convinced I could no longer swim to the surface. Until, I realized how to move my body again. My voice was where the sun was shining and I desired greatly to have it back. So I chose to break free and found peace in the beginning process of healing. I had been so afraid of the unknown, when really here is nothing to fear. If I choose myself as each moment passes, then it will become my natural state of being. No one had the strength to carry my out of the water, no one but myself. I decided to be free and not sink back into the deep. The choice brought clarity and joy, a deeper understanding of who I am and what I am capable of. As I pieced my being back together, I began to shine naturally, realizing the light was always within, it had just been dimmed for too long of a time. Now that I live in the glorious light, I am too strong to ever go back.